you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
