lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
