You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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