Need sex. Gaining weight.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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