I think my vagina is haunted
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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