Yo dont text me then not text me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
