i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
