Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
