i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
