You made me cry and you don't even care
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My room smells like vodka and shame
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Apparently you make a good broom.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
