I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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