i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
