So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
