I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
