I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
