Dual....:-)
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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