I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
