His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
