oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
