I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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