Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
