on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
