and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
