You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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