Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
