there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
