It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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