do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
