she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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