Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
