Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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