what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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