The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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