i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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