Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
