we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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