Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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