When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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