I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
look no pants
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
