Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
