Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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