youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
