Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
