their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You smell like stripper and shame
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
