Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
