Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
