Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
