You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
