Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
