She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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