man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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